I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
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i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
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Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.