Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.