i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish they made helmets for livers.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.