I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize