I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
did i just pee glitter
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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