I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
