I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
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I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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