just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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