I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
