Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
