"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
