It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
