rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
