and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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