Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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