I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
no, he came in my armpit
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize