Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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