You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i dont even know how to be here
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yo everyone went to the hospital last night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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