Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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