So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
