so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she told me i tasted like america
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
