I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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