Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
