Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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