I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
