I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.