Texts From Last Night

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  (260): View more from Indiana

  So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Are your eyes okay

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I mean if I was Asian they would be

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  (260): So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes (1-260): Are your eyes okay (260): I mean if I was Asian they would be http://tfl.nu/l3r4
  Replies (8) Good night (2319) Bad night (734)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day

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  (609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day http://tfl.nu/6lmw
  Replies (5) Good night (718) Bad night (1394)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.

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  (613): somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex. http://tfl.nu/eqpv
  Replies (16) Good night (4175) Bad night (638)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.

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  (623): I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again. http://tfl.nu/xgq4
  Replies (22) Good night (4235) Bad night (738)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

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  (217): The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again. http://tfl.nu/eq2e
  Replies (26) Good night (7942) Bad night (1059)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.

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  (614): Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by. http://tfl.nu/jzor
  Replies (49) Good night (1143) Bad night (4940)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.

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  (301): not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk. http://tfl.nu/3j1w
  Replies (2) Good night (846) Bad night (1734)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.

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  (330): Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea. http://tfl.nu/s5sl
  Replies (4) Good night (2447) Bad night (707)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.

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  (+44): I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode. http://tfl.nu/646n
  Replies (8) Good night (1967) Bad night (1507)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.

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  (347): i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick. http://tfl.nu/65g9
  Replies (10) Good night (2593) Bad night (964)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

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  (802): He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass. http://tfl.nu/9wu9
  Replies (23) Good night (2600) Bad night (849)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.

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  (202): Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that. http://tfl.nu/hdvk
  Replies (14) Good night (2840) Bad night (751)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here

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  (406): the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here http://tfl.nu/np6z
  Replies (5) Good night (1905) Bad night (429)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub

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  (334): What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub http://tfl.nu/it3y
  Replies (4) Good night (1187) Bad night (567)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?

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  (336): Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex? http://tfl.nu/6zbe
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (524)

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