Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?

  (408): View more from California

  oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no

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  (480): I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy? (408): oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no http://tfl.nu/w6ll
  Replies (4) Good night (1326) Bad night (3360)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around

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  (814): I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around http://tfl.nu/xsf6
  Replies (13) Good night (1306) Bad night (2385)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..

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  (905): I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact.. http://tfl.nu/kbzw
  Replies (42) Good night (918) Bad night (6076)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?

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  (716): Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil? http://tfl.nu/jfob
  Replies (14) Good night (7797) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?

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  (412): At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks? http://tfl.nu/fbfw
  Replies (8) Good night (1366) Bad night (2972)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.

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  (401): You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas. http://tfl.nu/h7nj
  Replies (4) Good night (4163) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

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  (570): martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/krux
  Replies (13) Good night (3250) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?

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  (847): HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT? http://tfl.nu/wczu
  Replies (17) Good night (2644) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.

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  (607): I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no. http://tfl.nu/p7ft
  Replies (2) Good night (1471) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..

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  (850): when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys.. http://tfl.nu/5j7g
  Replies (26) Good night (1237) Bad night (2739)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.

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  (206): I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship. http://tfl.nu/s5mh
  Replies (18) Good night (2356) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN

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  (603): YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN http://tfl.nu/ns4x
  Replies (16) Good night (1966) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.

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  (919): We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible. http://tfl.nu/ny7k
  Replies (0) Good night (860) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport

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  (815): Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport http://tfl.nu/ttkn
  Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.

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  (913): I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise. http://tfl.nu/ymmb
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (364)

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