I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles