marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
