dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
