Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
