I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
