Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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