So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
