So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
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Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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