Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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