His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
do nipples grow back?
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