i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
