just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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