Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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