well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed