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• (312): View more from Illinois

  She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  you smoke with your eyes?

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just cut my nipple shaving

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I like the way you think.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.

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