The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
