Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar