Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience

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(905): In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience http://tfl.nu/48b7

Replies (125) Good night (5671) Bad night (1236)
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(850): View more from Florida

So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

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(850): So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm. http://tfl.nu/5svr

Replies (17) Good night (2582) Bad night (3983)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

Your godly.

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(403): Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation. (1-403): Your godly. http://tfl.nu/7li2

Replies (13) Good night (4136) Bad night (1003)
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(876): View more from Jamaica

After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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(876): After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone http://tfl.nu/ammv

Replies (32) Good night (8392) Bad night (1193)
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(206): View more from Washington

Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.

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(206): Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have. http://tfl.nu/w5t0

Replies (5) Good night (2027) Bad night (594)
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(954): View more from Florida

well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.

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(954): well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success. http://tfl.nu/hp4n

Replies (5) Good night (2205) Bad night (589)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance

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(617): thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance http://tfl.nu/zdkv

Replies (10) Good night (2222) Bad night (632)
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(314): View more from Missouri

you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.

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(314): you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything. http://tfl.nu/wqjw

Replies (5) Good night (2104) Bad night (418)
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(510): View more from California

yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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(510): yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him http://tfl.nu/nlke

Replies (2) Good night (1584) Bad night (501)
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(614): View more from Ohio

This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..

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(614): This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day.. http://tfl.nu/r5zy

Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (214)
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(650): View more from California

I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.

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(650): I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood. http://tfl.nu/ls7g

Replies (5) Good night (1030) Bad night (306)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?

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(603): Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people? http://tfl.nu/67j9

Replies (13) Good night (327) Bad night (730)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.

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(317): Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South. http://tfl.nu/tqtt

Replies (1) Good night (158) Bad night (356)
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(214): View more from Texas

I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.

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(214): I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7. http://tfl.nu/9u2f

Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (197)
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(616): View more from Michigan

with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)

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(616): with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;) http://tfl.nu/170o

Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (146)

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