walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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