I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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