Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize