He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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