escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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