i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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