His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
