I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize