Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
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Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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