Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
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I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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