So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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