too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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