People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
