I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize