people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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