Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize