Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
